Table tennis, played up and down the screen instead of across it. Keep the ball alive, and win points with the one thing that actually decides them: where on the bat you hit it.
The goal
Two paddles, one ball, and a table that runs the tall way — your bat at the bottom, your opponent's at the top. Miss the ball and the other side scores. First to the target wins, and like real table tennis you have to be two clear: at a target of 11, 10–10 plays on until somebody leads by two. Whoever loses the point receives the next serve.
On a wide screen — a tablet turned sideways, a short desktop window — the same table rotates and the bats sit left and right instead. Nothing about how it plays changes; only which way you push.
The angle off the bat is the whole game
This is the one thing worth understanding, and it's why the game has any depth at all. Where the ball meets your paddle sets the angle it leaves at. Hit it in the flat middle of the bat and it goes straight back. Catch it further out toward the edge and it leaves at an angle — up to about 62 degrees at the very tip, which is nearly sideways across the table.
On top of that, the paddle's own sideways movement adds a little carve: a bat that's travelling as it makes contact puts something extra on the ball that a stationary one doesn't. Meeting the ball while moving is a different shot from waiting for it.
The ball also speeds up. It serves slowly, gains about six per cent every time a paddle touches it, and tops out after roughly thirteen returns. A long rally is genuinely faster than a short one, and the angles that were comfortable at the start become the ones that beat you.
Controls
- DragPut a finger anywhere on your half and slide. The bat follows — you don't have to touch the bat itself.
- ← →Move the gold bat, at the bottom.
- A DMove the blue bat, at the top. Two people, one keyboard.
- SpaceServe now rather than waiting out the pause. Also starts the next match once one is over.
- NStart a new match. R does the same.
- EscOpen the settings sheet.
Picking up the keys releases your finger and picking up your finger overrides the keys, so the bat never snaps back to somewhere you left a pointer five seconds ago. Player one is gold at the near end, player two cool blue at the far end — they're told apart by which end of the table they're on as well as by colour.
Match length
Three, and it's worth matching the length to what you're doing.
- To 5 — a quick set. Two or three minutes, and one bad run of points can lose it.
- To 11 — the default, and a proper match. Long enough that the rally speed matters.
- To 21 — the long one. Enough points that the better player nearly always wins, which is either the appeal or the problem depending on which one you are.
The two modes
Versus the computer
Three levels, and a choice of who serves first — you, the computer, or random. Against the computer the game also tracks a win streak, which resets the moment you drop a match.
Pass and play
Two people at the two ends of one phone, which is the layout the vertical table exists for. Both bats are dragged independently, so two thumbs on one screen works properly. Pass and play keeps its own tally, counting matches played rather than a streak.
The three difficulty levels
All three use the same opponent with different numbers. It works out exactly where the ball will arrive — wall bounces included — and then spoils that answer on purpose in three ways: it waits before it starts moving, it aims at slightly the wrong spot and corrects late, and its bat has a top speed it cannot exceed.
Easy
Slow to react, sloppy about where it's going, and its bat is the slowest of the three. It gets to the ball when the ball comes to it and doesn't when it doesn't. A good level to learn the edge-of-the-bat angles on, because you get time to aim.
Normal
The one most people should play. It reads the ball well, moves reasonably fast, and places its returns with some intent rather than just returning them. It will beat you if you keep hitting the ball back down the middle, and it will lose to a rally you actually shape.
Hard
Quick off the mark, accurate, and it aims. It is not, however, a wall — and this is a promise the game keeps deliberately.
Hard's bat has a top speed. At full rally pace, a ball struck near the edge of your bat crosses the table sideways faster than that bat can travel. A wide, fast, well-placed shot wins the point outright. Hard is a very good player who can be moved — not one who can't be beaten.
Tips
Stop hitting it with the middle
The flat centre of the bat returns the ball straight down the table to an opponent who is already standing there. Almost every point you win comes from meeting the ball off-centre. Aim to make contact somewhere out toward the edge on purpose, and the angle does the work.
Make it travel
Play the ball to the side your opponent isn't on. Against the computer this is the whole strategy: it can be beaten by distance, not by speed, and two wide returns in a row beat one very fast one down the middle.
Hit while you're moving
A moving bat carves the ball; a parked one doesn't. Arriving at the ball just as it gets there gives you a shot that a bat sitting and waiting cannot play.
Come back toward the middle after you hit
You've just sent the ball somewhere; the return is coming back and you're standing at one edge. Drifting back toward the centre between shots is what makes a wide reply reachable — it's the same discipline as the real game.
Let the rally build, then change the angle
The ball is at its most dangerous late in a rally when it's near full speed. Trade a few safe returns, let it get quick, and then take one wide — a sharp angle at full pace is a shot the computer's bat physically cannot chase down.
Serve when you're ready, not when it lets you
Space skips the pause before a serve. Between points that's how you keep your own rhythm rather than the game's — and in a close match at deuce, taking a moment first is just as legitimate.
Good to know
- Four looks — Ping Pong, Air Hockey, Tennis and Soccer. They are purely a change of picture: every one of them plays exactly the same game with exactly the same numbers.
- The table is measured in its own units rather than pixels, so the game plays identically on a four-inch phone and a thirty-two-inch monitor. Nobody gets an advantage from a bigger screen.
- Your tally and your settings are kept on your device, with separate records against the computer and for pass and play, and a best-run record for each difficulty. Clearing your browser data clears them.
- No account, and nothing is sent anywhere. The game plays completely signed out.